Forgive me for using that famous line from Paul Newman’s “Cool Hand Luke” to headline a blog posting about the most famous do-nothing in the world, Paris Hilton.

At last the truth comes out! Paris wasn’t at fault for driving drunk! She wasn’t at fault for violating her probation. No! It was her publicist’s fault, and he’s paid for it with his job. Actually, he’s lucky Paris’ snarky Mom, Kathy, took out her wrath on the judge rather than the publicist. After all, apparently he failed to communicate Paris’ caring, concerned nature well enough to keep her out of the slammer. He failed to put the proper “spin” on his client’s desire to thumb her nose at society. He may only be a publicist (and as we all know, they are not nearly as talented as public relations people!), but throwing the blame on his shoulders is rather like a snake shedding her skin and slithering away from the remains.

Here’s an idea for you, Paris. While you’re in the big house, look around you. Look at all the others who are having to take responsibility for their own actions. That’s exactly what you should be doing … taking responsibility for what did. Yourself. All on your own. Don’t blame it on your publicist!

This reminds me of another good movie line … from a movie that was schlocky but obviously too good to cast Paris Hilton. The movie was “Deep Blue Sea,” and in it LL Cool J says “Oh man … I’m not going to get out of here alive. Brothers never get out of these situations alive!”

Almost but not quite, LL. It’s publicists who never make it out alive. Then again, when you make your living promoting someone who doesn’t do anything, maybe you deserve it.

Here endeth the rant for today.

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The comments expressed are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official opinions of Johnson Direct, LLC.